My Home..seek peace and prosperity of the city to which I have carried you into the exile. Pray to the Lord for it, because if it prospers, you too will prosper.” Jeremiah 29:1- 7
It has taken several years to finally be ok with where God has me. And to feel at peace with it. This is where I am.. Texas. It’s been a long time coming. By no means am I in exile.. yet I won’t lie in saying that there for some time, it did feel a bit like I had been separated from the very things that mean so much to me: community, friends and my family. But I believe that when we do step out in our faith, God always provides.. and above and beyond than what we could ever imagine for our lives.
Our God is the same God all the time, everywhere. I can't be conditional with how I am or where I am but to continue to be the woman that God is shaping me to be, to love unconditionally and look to serve others not how can I be served, to remain humble and look to the needs of others regardless of where I am or what I'm doing. Not when I feel like making time or I'm across an ocean. I still have so much to grown in this... but it's moving.. and feels amazing.
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Waking long before the sun has made itself known to the world, the house has slowly begun to warm. As the sun begins to climb, brilliant colors of orange, red and pink paint the horizon.. and for the first time since moving to Texas, I am glad to be home. The house is quiet and the full aroma of coffee brought back from Rome fills the kitchen. From the window, the trees shake.. the few leaves that continue to cling to their limbs are all but faded from last weeks vibrant autumn colors and make their way to their final resting place.. blanketing my yard. Alexi Murdoch sings ‘my salvation lies in your love’ and I feel a deep peace. Finally..
Months have past since taking the time to pen my thoughts. I needed a break from writing and to really process all that has been transforming in my life. In these past few months, so much has taken place. I moved from downtown Dallas about 45 miles north to a little town of McKinney. It took a lot of convincing to open my mind to the thought of moving but after a week of driving over 90 miles a day, I realized this was not what I wanted. So I began looking.. and with the first home I discovered I was in love! A little white cottage house built in the 1940’s had been lovingly restored and was ready to be a home. The little town of McKinney borders suburbia and wide open spaces of farm land. Many of the roads here are marked ‘FM’ or ‘RR’ which means either ‘Farm to Market’ or ‘Ranch to Market’. This dates back to the day when farms/ranches took these roads to the town market for the week. This is getting closer to the Texas you imagine not what I’ve been living in for the past two years: concrete and thoughtless suburban sprawl. Gratefully there are a few hills that grace the otherwise open plains. Just 15 minutes northwest, sits a state park where I can enjoy the stillness of the country that I so miss about Tennessee. Not a car, building, road or person in sight.
a few of the houses around the neighborhood
The house where I now make a home sits in the historical district of downtown McKinney. The town dates back to the early 1800’s and the houses that make up this wonderful little neighborhood are full of character. It reminds me much of a mix between Savannah and Franklin.. minus the Spanish Moss and 6 digit incomes. There is something authentic and genuine in these old homes.. nothing too over manicured yet you can see the tenderness taken to care for them. These homes are well loved and lived in. Walking these streets, I discover a new gem of a home with each stroll. Less than a mile is the old historic city center. It looks much like downtown Murfreesboro with the old courthouse turned performing arts center in the middle of the square yet has been restored much like downtown Franklin. On the weekend, it is a thriving center of activities where a blues band jams at the pizzeria and couples spill out of the steakhouse or local winery. Street musicians play on the street corners, there is local pub and coffee shop, a bistro and an Italian restaurant with a resident Italian (from Venice), a tapas and wine bars fill the in betweens. Recently, our office moved in above the Italian place which I couldn’t be more thrilled with. Going from 90+ miles a day to/from work to less than a mile isn’t bad at all!
But it hasn’t been the move or the new job title as the Creative Director/Arts Coordinator that has been the real change. It has been what God has been transforming, shaping within me. This has been the most transforming year of my life.
You can acquire knowledge, have a fresh perspective on life but that does nothing for my soul. For the first time I can say I’ve really pursued my relationship with God as a priority and not just a nice idea which I might get around to. This deepening in my relationship has been the real change. It’s easy to make excuses.. to say ‘well I just didn’t grow up with that’ or ‘I don’t have time’ or ‘It’s too big to even know where to start’. I’ve made excuses for not pressing into God and really depending on Him. Yet how grateful I am that He lavishes His grace upon us and has so much patience! Recently as I’ve been reading through the Gospels, I’ve been reminded so many times that when Jesus looks out at all the people, before a crowd, what is it he feels..? Not frustration. Not annoyance. Not anger. Not disgust. He has compassion. He says that ‘they are sheep that have lost their Shepard’. Compassion. How often do I get annoyed, impatient, frustrated, arrogant, self righteous when I look at others. But God.. He looks upon us with compassion.
Yet this relationship means responding to your faith.. it's not enough to just desire to know God but you must step out in your faith. In Ephesians 2:8-10 it is written that 'it is by grace you have been saved- through faith, and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God- not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do go works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. My pastor, Matt Chandler, once spoke about the word used here 'workmanship' .. the greek translation being 'poetry'. Poetry being created out of emotion.. that we are created out of God's emotion.. we are the movement of God. Wow if that doesn't move something in you.... ;) Yet with out action, faith is dead as it is written in James 2:17.
For me it's been amazing to begin to grasp that it's not enough to say "i believe".. "I'm faithful".. if my life isn't reflective of my faith, if I am not compelled.. then i haven't gotten it. Reading through the Gospels, I was reminded of how many times people came to Jesus, asking to be healed.. and it was never a question as to if he could.. You see Jesus healing those because of their faith. Because they had great faith, they were healed.. not because they were blind.. weak.. sick.. unclean.. but because of their faith. So for me, the question I ask myself.. looking with in.. am I compelled to live my life of faith..?
There has been a stirring in my soul. A floodgate has been opened within me that leaves me in awe.. more to come on this..
“Pray that out of His glorious riches He may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge- that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever, amen!” Ephesians 3: 16-21
Great Books:
·The Bible: really.. just start in Matthew and read a few chapters a day .. spend time in the Word as well as journaling through what you’re reading. . and the you’ll feel the stirring ..
·Jesus Save the Christians: A manifest for the church in exile by Rob Bell
·Beyond Homelessness: Christian Faith in a Culture of Displacement by Bouma-Prediger & Walsh
