The Lake District, Wordsworth and Daffodils

"Daffodils" (1804)
I wander'd lonely as a cloud
That floats on high o'er vales and hills,
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host, of golden daffodils;
Beside the lake, beneath the trees,
Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.
Continuous as the stars that shine
And twinkle on the Milky Way,
They stretch'd in never-ending line
Along the margin of a bay:
Ten thousand saw I at a glance,
Tossing their heads in sprightly dance.
The waves beside them danced; but they
Out-did the sparkling waves in glee:
A poet could not but be gay,
In such a jocund company:
I gazed -- and gazed -- but little thought
What wealth the show to me had brought:
For oft, when on my couch I lie
In vacant or in pensive mood,
They flash upon that inward eye
Which is the bliss of solitude;
And then my heart with pleasure fills,
And dances with the daffodils.
By William Wordsworth (1770-1850).

The art of ignoring and the gift in loving

It was written somewhere once that there are two things that pierce the human heart: beauty and affliction. In one your heart swells and the other you feel it break.. The other night as I sat on the number 2 Uptown Express train waiting for it to take me back to 42nd Street, I experienced both such feelings in a colliding moment. When I stepped on the train, it was the intense smell that I first noticed coming from a corner. There sat a woman all but crumpled against the wall and seat. She seemed a mass of brown clothing, her face was covered and wearing mis-matched shoes, she struggled to stand up. The majority of those on the train sat to the other end of the car aware but pretending to not notice her. Because this is not an uncommon site, no one stared or made exaggerated hand movements, no comments were made or none that I could hear from where I sat. Yet the silence and choice of seat said enough. In the moment my eyes befell her, I felt my heart break for her.. with her covered face as if her shame kept her from showing herself. Only a moment later did I allow my eyes to leave her and looked ahead out the train window. Across the platform stood two lovers in a public yet very intimate embrace, gaze and then long kiss. My heart swelled at this site and seconds later the train was traveling north to Herald Square. There was something deep in me that moved with a longing for the same experience. Yet it was here that the woman shifted her way out the train doors. Her movements reminded me of a wounded animal, when realizing they have but a moment to escape- for just that moment, they have energy. As the train continued on, I watched this woman whose face was hardly visible make her slow uneven way to her next corner of this city. What she left behind was not just a overwhelming smell, not just the crumbs and dirt that reveal how long she had been there… but a broken heart in my chest. A reminder that she is a human being with a heart and soul just like me.. not a term or a condition.. not a statistic or a lost case. But a woman who could be loved and is loved. But who stops to know her name.. her story? Give her hope and an hand?

There are those who believe that those without a home choose this life for themselves and prefer this. Who really chooses to be without a home.. without someone to love them and to love in return.. to not feel a part of this life? Living such independent lives apart from our Creator wasn’t what God created us for. When you begin to be see how much we were created for community and relationships.. These people may not have had a choice but to give up their home, have no one to turn to who will love them where they are at and extend help. Maybe they did get some help. Maybe they choose to give up. Those of us who’ve been privileged to be provided for or who know that someone has our back should never take this for granted. Life is not fair. It does not consider the individual nor does it show grace, show mercy and love unconditionally. And those who chose to just give up.. all I can say is someone must have given up on them. And they lost hope.

How is it that we can support humanitarian efforts across the globe in Darfur.. Myanmar.. Israel.. Mumbai.. yet disregard those before our very eyes? I'm not saying that there is anything wrong with supporting the causes that reach these places as it is incredibly needed! Yet, the real crisis is within us when we stop and only seek to help ourselves.. it ends there. We’ve been creating to be life giving.. not life-consuming. In scripture it says ‘what is it to gain the whole world but lose our souls in the process..?’ I’m the first one to be honest in that it’s easier to just help from afar.. we keep ourselves comfortable never touching the reality of the lives we see so broken, just being grateful that is not us. To keep a safe distance from what makes me risk myself, really give of myself and trust in God. It has been a process of understand of what it looks like to step outside of what I'm comfortable with and only willing to do if it fits into a certain idea or moral code based off of.. what? You need to have discernment which is incredibly important just as it is to wrestle with, question and seek to understand what any of this means and what it looks like to live in this place vs just living in the idea of it. Hence we justify ourselves because we've thoughts about something or are going to do something about this or that yet we've never taken any real action.

A New York photographer Lorenzo Dominguez, recently created a series of photos called: The Art of Ignoring (http://www.flickr.com/photos/lorenzodom/sets/72157601182601638/) I know I’ve been guilty of trying to perfect the art of ignoring. But I can’t. I’m not sure what it looks like to not ignore or pretend.. or just to walk by. Rather what it looks like to reach out.. not being conditional in how I give, how I love. God is not conditional with us. He doesn’t bless us according to what we deserve or not rather takes joy in giving. And who is to say that what one chooses to do or spend is better or worse? We are called into loving others. So many people say that this life is about Love.. but what is your idea of love? What does it look like to love others and to be loved in return? Do you know the greatest love of all? It’s humbling.. to know there is nothing more or less we can do that God won’t love us more or less. Again.. to live in that place where you love.. give.. show grace and mercy regardless or who is or isn’t deserving.. because you’ve been so loved, lavished up with grace and mercy and knowing that each day is a gift.

I pray for God to break my heart for what breaks His. When you start to pray this.. He will. You are given a glimpse into how far east of Eden we really are.. so far from where we are intended to be. At the same time, you will experience such joy, such gratitude that your heart is swollen and overflowing. You cannot help but to share this with others not wanting to keep it for yourself. You begin to feel deeply in a way never felt before and all over a sudden, you seen through new eyes. I dare you to pray this because when you do.. you will feel you heart break.. but also swell in the same moment.

Below are a few websites regarding homelessness and those who provide refuge and help:

Coalition for the Homeless: http://www.coalitionforthehomeless.org/index.html
The Bowery Mission: http://www.bowery.org
EDAR http://www.edar.org/index.html
Sacramento Loaves and Fishes: http://www.sacloaves.org/
http://www.takepart.com/blog/tag/homeless-families/

Photos from my last Europe tours

Twice now I've been incredibly blessed to witness this gorgeous sunset over the Bay of Corinth from the modern city of Delphi. This was from the balcony off my hotel room. The apostle Paul once sailed across this bay. It's moments like this I am in such awe that I get to be a part of all this!



The view looking back towards the popular skiing town of Arahova. It is not only popular with people who are skiing on Mt Parnasos but known for it's woven rugs and clothing. Great little village!



Students from Wheaton Academy as we walked through the lower city of ancient Delphi. It was a gorgeous morning watching the sunrise over the Ionian Sea as we made our way up the mountain.



Looking down one of the main roads leading to the Pantheon in Rome. Notice the full moon overhead and one of the best little cafe's to get coffee in the city: Il Caffe Tazza D'oro.



Another incredible group of students, this time from Wheaton Academy. Here are all the girls on their first day in Florence, Italy.



Sitting in a little restaurant just outside the Ancient Agora.. it was an unusually warm day for early Jan. People were out walking around in the markets and in the midst of the seas of people, I heard this strange singing.. almost chanting coming from somewhere. As the sound came closer, I saw that it was a man who pushed a sort of .. musical box.. icon.. in a moment he looked at me as I photographed him. Part of me wished I had understood what he was singing and what his cart represented.. yet i'm glad its left to my always wondering..



A few of the students from Houston Christian School which took us from Rome Italy across the Adriatic Sea to Athens Greece. Here they are at top the Acropolis in Athens.



The view looking down on Ancient Delphi. This is an incredible site to visit with an even more fascinating history. Understanding what the ancient Greeks believed really helps to better understand the language used in scripture when speaking to the Greeks. So incredibly interesting and what a breath-taking place!