Greece through photographs

Flying over Greece about to land in Athens

Monastiriki Square in the heart of Athens- notice the Acropolis in the background.


Metro stop: Acropoli

Local Athens Market.. they sell anything and everything in this place..

local men sit around everywhere drinking coffee, eating, smoking, playing games, talking.. you see them seating together all over the place. This is on one of the main streets, Athinas.

again in the local market.. i love the Orthodox priest caught me photographing him.

this man was so interesting to me.. he was sitting in the most random place reading..?

The Greeks don't seem to concerned over manicured storefronts.

The view from Aeropagus (Mar's Hill) looking up at the Acropolis

Active Compassion

Otis, Keaton, Flou and Collin in Athens. Otis and Flou are from Nigeria. They moved to Greece legally ten years ago but have not been able to make a 'better' life for themselves. They want to return home but because they can only make so much money as street musicians, they do not know how long it will take them to save enough money for plane tickets.

+++++++++++++++++++++

Returning from Greece this past month, I’ve not been able to shake what I saw and experienced. My heart has been wrecked by the bigger picture - the reality that is for so many people. From the Greeks themselves who are in fear with the current economic crisis and feeling hopeless; to Roma (gypsies) children as young as 4 wandering the streets alone working to make money; to the migrants/asylum seekers alike who regardless of their circumstances and what is legal/illegal- desire not just a better life; are escaping persecution and fearing for their lives- their reality is bleak. I have had a harder time wandering through all that I took in and what it looks like to move beyond my world of comfort.





Highlighted to me this past Easter has been that of the compassion and mercy over our lives. How do I process through the names and faces.. the stories of those who have not. As I’m reminded of the grace and mercy lavished upon my life, I’m grateful that Jesus looked upon us and had compassion and He responds to the cries of our hearts. This seemed to be the vibrant theme throughout these past weeks in Greece. The names and stories of those who lives left an impact on my heart as well as the group. On the last night of our time together, I asked the group what left the biggest impact and why. Not one of them said a place or location. Each of them shared of what God had been revealing to them in regards to having compassion; His love for us and what it looks like to love others not conditionally rather because the love of Christ compels; the stories and encounters with other people and though languages could have made for difficulties, love transcended. How deeply encouraged I was to see how God had been working .. moving and opening their hearts. To watch these students not only take in what they were experiencing, but to respond and to embrace those they encountered. My prayer for them as they returned home is that God would continue to nurture their hearts what was planted in those 11 days together, continuing to revealing Himself to them.

Savannah puts on her best dress

As I drove down Oglethorpe Street a joy rose in me. I was back in the deep South. Live oak trees draped in spanish moss; the azaleas are in full bloom; victorian homes leaning on one another as old friends well acquainted with each other; sunlight dappled squares; carriage horses and SCAD students on bikes compete for the right away.. Of these things I miss. Arriving in Savannah on a Friday morning, I could hardly wait to submerge myself back into a culture that had become a warm blanket to my soul during my college years.



Savannah is on the way to nowhere yet when you arrive you wondered how you even came to be in such a beautiful city. A city which was saved during Sherman's march to the sea, destroying everything on his way to Charleston. The city was spared and presented as a gift to President Lincoln at Christmas- along with cotton and guns. Though it is a city that may have been saved by the wrath of an army- it has suffered much over the centuries. From many area fires; hurricanes and tropical storms; racism and what could of been it's fate- to be left to itself; cast away and forgotten. It's savior and much credit is given to the rise of a certain 'book' as referred to by locals and what has become the country's leading art college {Savannah College of Art and Design}- this city of steeples now thrives and is very much alive. Yet this city lives as water and oil separate yet together. There are many cultures here which live among the other. To the innocent eye, you'd think this charming southern town was just that. Charming. It was once said of Savannah "a beautiful woman with a dirty face". And though it is charming, it has a darker reality- one that is rooted in the supernatural and the reality that is racism. Is this not where the American southern gothic movement is stepped in? Tennessee Williams described as ' .. an underlying dreadfulness in modern experience". Not to detract from it's beauty as it is captivating and unique, alluring. It stirs and inspires the imagination. Yet I can't deny that I was exposed to a harsh reality that had yet to expose itself to me: racism. Rather for now, I'm not here to express my experience of this in Savannah. I've since seen an uglier picture of this far beyond this little city off a forgotten highway.

While living in Savannah, never did I grow tired or accustom to the beauty that always left me admiring and in awe. Having never owned a car throughout my college years, I'd bike around the squares admiring the various details on my way to class and back. There was always a new room; a new corner; a new garden; a new home; new design to discover. Your senses are overwhelmed. Being an artist, this city inspires and moves you in your attempt to capture and convey beauty. Oh how I felt my soul swollen in a way that I was ready to feast on this once again. Texas.. you've yet to stir this within me.





This past weekend's return to the South was a result of being asked to participate in SCAD's Student Acceptance Day. Students who'd been accepted but had to make a concert decision on a college pouring in from all over the country (and the world) to check out the school in more detail. SCAD flew 4 of us alumni in to share about our experiences at the university and how we are currently using our degree in our field. SCAD knows how to put on an event! I enjoyed meeting with parents and students; encouraging them and sharing my experiences along with what sets this school apart. It was an honor to be a part of this day and be around so many excited students!





After the SCAD event had come to an end, I jumped in the car and drove out hwy 80 towards Tybee Island. Windows down, crossing over the various bridges that take you to Tybee.. the salty sea air begins to stir memories that have gathered dust for too long. There is a reason so many writers choose the Low Country as their subject.. it is intoxicating. Satisfied once I had sunk my toes into the warm Georgia sand; I return to Savannah. The remaining day was left to my pleasure. Now that the dormant memories had been dusted off, I felt it was time to wander down the streets I'd spent living on for so many years. As I approached my old home, I had the feeling someone would be on the front porch. Sure enough.. not one but three people sat gathered for an evening cocktail, music and musings. I approached with rising joy. As I walked up the steps and explained how this had been my home throughout college.. they exclaimed 'are you Kyle?'. Wow.. how did they know who I was? Amazingly enough, this was the family that had bought the house from my parents. They then asked if I would like to wander through the house. Could I really? I can't explain the emotions that were so deeply stirred as I crossed the threshold of that old house on 124 W Huntingdon Street. That house of which I'd grown to love and care for so deeply... it was like being reunited with a long lost friend after so many years. Wandering through the house, my heart was swollen remembering all that passed through.. all the memories.. the good.. the bad.. the beautiful.. the brokenness.. life! They say that college years are your best. Looking back at this time this past weekend, it very much will always remain a special season of my life.

The next morning I left for South Carolina where I went to visit my grandmother. Driving over the Savannah River, again I was struck with the beauty that surrounded me. How incredibly deprived of this I am here in Texas. Live oak trees and pine tree canopied the backroads that took me through the town of Bluffton. Here I stopped to visit a beautiful wooden church that sits on the bluffs on the May River. Taking my shoes off, the soft grass and sunny day beckoned me to enjoy. For some time I sat overlooking the river that would eventually take you to the ocean ..watching people on small motor boats and kayaks savor the day. Driving back through the little town, I stopped to wander through several of the art galleries. As small as this town is, they had more art galleries than I've seen in a long time. My favorite happened to be more of a work space- outdoor gallery of sorts. Exploring this little space was a delightful gift. It only added to the magic of the day.. all too soon it was time to leave and continue my drive to Hilton Head Island..



What I walked away with from this weekend was the realization of how dormant my creative side has been these years since graduating. Within my job, I'm able to use my education, experiences and knowledge acquired while in school. Yet creating work that extends beyond my job has been asleep for too long. For the first time in awhile, I felt inspired, rejuvenated, encouraged and challenged to look at how I can begin to integrate my abilities, experiences, opportunities, awareness and network into something that extends beyond me creating art for the sake of art.

Connected to this kindled realization was the need for deep community here in Dallas. I have made great friends but lack a community. This was very apparent as I walked around Savannah this weekend seeing everyone out and about and recognizing the isolation that has become my life outside of my tours. I have made a good life for myself here but what does it mean if it's only you experiencing it? Yet rather than feeling discouraged, I returned to Dallas with a renewed hope in what God is doing within my life. He is stirring something big time and this weekend revealed to me that He is knows my heart. To trust Him and continuing to walk in obedience out of my affection for Him.

Now to start sketching out ideas... it always starts with an idea..

"The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing." - Albert Einstein

"You can't do anything about the length of your life, but you can do something about its width and depth." - Shira Tehran

“All men dream: but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dreams with open eyes, to make it possible.” - T.E. Lawrence

Places to check out in Savannah
Cha Bella Farm to Table restaurant
Harris Baking Company - amazing bakery
Bohemain Hote - they have a great rooftop bar that overlooks the Savannah River.
The Paris Market and Brocante this place was gorgeous..! and they had a little espresso bar. They the blueberry, espresso and cream drink.. divine!
shopSCAD - all items created by SCAD students
Working Class Studio

Latter Days and Astral Weeks

Two concerts for which I was fortunate to experience this past year: Over the Rhine and Swell Season. Over the decades, I've seen a my share of shows. My first concert was an L7 show at the former 328 Performance Hall music venue in Nashville. {Michael W Smith and DC Talk were technically my first.. but they don't count as I didn't know what I was getting myself into at 8 or 9 years of age!}

These two groups are phenomenal live. If you ever have the opportunity to experience a show of theirs- go! I could

Over the Rhine
I first discovered this group while in high school. I was instantly drawn to Karen's voice and the emotion from which she sang. Yet is has only been the recent years in which I've been fortunate to experience this beautiful group perform live. It will change your life! When Karen sings, she bares her soul. Standing in the darkly lit room, your vocals penetrate to the very core of you and you are left with this glorious feeling swimming through you. It is a breath-taking experience. Her husband Linford is there next to her typically on the piano. He is a warm fire to Karen's afternoon rains. They compliment each other beautifully.

Albums: Below are a few of over a dozen albums they've put out.
God Dog, Bad Dog
Ohio
The Trumpet Child
Drunkard's Prayer


Swell Season
Once is a film that lingers with you and leaves you feeling full of hope. This was my first introduction to the couple- Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova- as it has been for many. I'd been listening to The Frames {Glen Hansard's band} on and off for years but honestly never gave them much thought. Watching him in this film gives you a very intimate portrait of the man he is. Yes he is 'acting' yet I don't feel that he is too far off from the man portrayed in the film. Even more intimate are their concerts. Again, if you have the opportunity- go see these two perform live. Glen sings with this genuine and unabandoned emotion that permeates from his entire being. When speaking to the crowd, he is humble and humorous.. his gratitude for the support and response to their music is very evident through his words. In particular, it was his cover of Astral Weeks that was incredibly powerful. Marketa has a gentle and soft, yet guarded demeanor. She was again, a wonderful compliment to Glen. What a gorgeous night of music!

Albums:
Once Soundtrack
Strict Joy
The Frames- they have several albums out

The Lost Boys of Afghanistan

{photo by the NY Times}

Months ago I wrote a post, Ghosts of Patras. This post made aware the plight of refugees and migrants who lived in limbo in Greece. The New York Times posted an article the other morning speaking on this very topic. How grateful I was to see more light shed on the conditions that these men and women live in. More than the story are the images. The photograph shot in black and white relay the emotion, their stark reality.

{photo by the NY Times}

{Photo by the NY Times}

I've also discovered another emotionally stirring article and well as this heart-breaking report which addresses the Iraqis refugee stuck in a sort of revolving door between Turkey and Greece, seeing no hope in sight. This latter report addresses the same issue the NY Times reported on which was that of the Afghan youth in Greece. You can also watch this clip. Another powerful that tells the jounrey of an Iraqi refugee who has made it through Greece and on to France, now attempting to cross from France to England, which this clip titled After Sangatte: Europe's untold Refugee Crisis.

Years ago, I had just returned from my time living abroad in Italy. I was struggling to understand why God had me live in Italy.. here I was back in Franklin working the same job at Starbucks as I had been prior to leaving. Those first few months home, I went through a wave of emotions in seeking to understand the 'why'. A visiting pastor at my church was gifted in counseling, was offering his time to to meet with us over a two day period. On a whim, I decided to meet with him. When I think back on this meeting, I remember that I had not shared much- rather he was sensitive to where I was at. He told me that it was ok that I wasn't at peace with just 'staying in Franklin'. God has put big visions in my heart for many nations and He was going to do something with that. I wasn't meant to stay. At this, I felt relief and terrified at the same time. What did this mean? Many nations? I only was familiar with a small corner of the globe. Months later, I was hired to work for Joshua Expeditions. And as I sit here, having come into my 5 season with JE, having witnesses much- I recognize my heart for many nations.. they are all pouring into one continent: Europe. I've seen this on massive levels. In Florence, I've heard the stories of young Cameroonians while selling watches; in Paris I've met and seen their hurt in the eyes of Algerians while bartering pursues; In Rome I've encountered Bangladeshi who've crossed an ocean to sell toys in from of the Trevi Fountain; in Patras I've watched as the Afghan lines the streets in Patras attempting to run and hide under a semi-truck as it travels to Italy; In Athens I've witnesses Albanian couples come together for a night of worship, in Albania, a safe place for them to feel home; in London the Pakistani and Iraqis; in Munich the Turkish.. the list is endless. Many nations. So many are left without hope.

For so many of us here in American, we live in incredible luxury. We have the luxury to choose to live a simple life. Yet the majority of the world does not have that luxury. We are called to love because the love of Christ compels us. To not segregate but embrace those, bring them into our lives; we are to show active compassion and affirm those who've lost that hope of their dignity and give them a voice. Through that active compassion, it transforms lives.

Greece is only one corner of the globe. What is happening in this part of Europe, is happening in thousands of other locations. Here are a few other resources to make yourself more aware of these crimes against humanity and how you can help:

The International Rescue Committee
UN Refugee Agency
IT Refugee Ministry

Tennessee, you've been good to me

the view from my parents home

sweet friends at one of our many cookouts

It seems fitting that for lyrics to convey where my thoughts are this morning..

“Tennessee you’ve been good to me.. yes I’ve come to believe, you’re where I want to be.. you may not be.. what everybody needs.. but Tennessee.. you’re good enough for me” Mindy Smith

“if I hadn’t left Nashville. I wouldn’t be here today..”. Casey Black

“You’re a distant memory, you’re an exit south.. On a childhood highway.. it’s not quite London.. or the south of France.. or an Asian island.. or a second chance.. going back to Nashville thinking about the whole thing, guess you’ve got to run sometimes..” David Mead

There are places that will always leave an imprint on my heart.. moments that will play out in the theater of my mind.. and when they come, how I savor the memory. So many moments from brunch on Sundays in New York City; walking through Central Park in the snow; to playing music in the open piazzas of Florence; late nights on my front porch in Savannah with friends and the heady scent of jasmine on a soft breeze... Yet there is that place which causes an ache so deep within you… the only way to soothe that is to return. Home.

So often I’m asked; ‘..of all the places you’ve gone, what is your favorite place?’ How my answer often disappoints them. It’s driving down childhood highways towards Leiper’s Fork .. over the hills, passing the horses farms to the place that gave birth to my imagination, where freely it ran wild. A place where anything beyond my backyard was an adventure. Little did I know where that life beyond my backyard would take me. There are places that left me in amazement and wonder, hoping to some day return. But those places are beyond count. How could I choose?

Yes I’ve been incredibly lucky to live the life I’ve lived. To see the spectacular places that you stand in awe of and think, ‘how is this my life?’. I’m constantly having those moments. Yet the place I ache for, is the place I wanted to leave. And as much as the I love atmosphere that was the home. It’s what happened in this place.

My roots aren’t in the South. My family is from the Midwest. I don’t have that southern pride.. nor do I have any connect with the place which gave birth to my parents. My nostalgia isn’t for the place itself as much as I find it beautiful. There are places I’ve seen that surpass the beauty of Williamson County by far and wide! Those hills can’t compete with the Swiss Alps. And Center Hill Lake can’t compare to the blue waters of the Aegean Sea. And the history.. well standing on the Acropolis in front of the Parthenon goes back a bit further than the Civil War. Not to discredit these things rather what I am expressing: So what does it leave you with? {to the left: my parents when they were younger and dating} The people. It’s my family that I ache for. My sweet authentic friends. My childhood. Those tender memories when you didn’t know the weight of the world and the wickedness that man is capable of. I ache for the sweetness of dancing in the living room to Michael Jackson and Billy Joel, my sisters and I twirling around. I ache for Sunday drives and brunch with Dad. I ache for sitting on the counter as my mom bakes and teaching us. I ache for enjoying the outdoors playing music with friends, laughing and just doing life together. Yet, I don’t live in the past of what I miss. I am very much here in the present.

What is all this showing me? What is that ache so deep within me? For years now I’ve crossed oceans- I’ve made a living at doing so. Not for a second would I take back all I’ve come into in my short life. No regrets. Just an ache.

As I sit in my home in McKinney, TX.. on a no name highway.. surrounded by no name towns. I’m a nobody. No one knows my name or really even cares to know. Rather than think that this place has nothing to offer me or I have nothing to off ‘it’… I remember that all of these places have become a part of who I am, the fabric of my being. And for me the core of it lays at home. I don’t know ‘what comes next’. For some, that may be a scary thought but where I find rest and so much comfort is remembering that when God puts a vision in us, He won’t take it from us. He continues to work in us; through us. There is a scripture that speaks of the ‘parched land will become pools of water..’. How I love this image. For so long, that vision has had to do with travel and nations. It still does. He’s allowed it to come into being and continues to. I look forward with anticipation and excitement as to what the new day brings. But I too look forward to sharing in that, hopefully, with a family. That the deepest thing I ache for isn’t to fill my passport with stamps that it may read like an atlas but to give life as my parents having given to me. Amazing how your life can feel like it comes full circle while continuing to propel you forward. I have no idea if I’ll ever live back in Nashville- how I’d love to. But God has a bigger picture I’ve to really, only tantalizing glimpses. But I also know that when we seek him, He does delight in blessing us with the desires of our hearts. How amazing is that?!





So as I sit here let my heart focus on what is not rather all that is. To revel in the greatness and grandeur of God’s plan- one which I could never have invented for myself. To be grateful for all that has been laid before me with my heart and purpose in mind. I look forward to my trip home not for the place itself rather to savor my time with my family and precious friends. And remember that Tennessee.. you’ve been good to me.

Bittersweet end to the season

Occasionally I lead trips to places I’ve yet to visit myself! I know you ask: How can you lead people to a place you’ve never been? You get a really good map, memorize landmarks and praise God for Google Street View!! ;) On this past trip, we spent several days in a gorgeous valley nestles between the Austria Alps. What a stunning place! I fear my photos do not begin to capture the beautiful and grandeur of this place. Waking each morning to a postcard view and each night, falling asleep to the sound of mountain water gushing through the creek below my window and the soft silhouette of the mountains in the distance. This was a piece of heaven on earth.



For three days the kids got to ski and snowboard up on the Stubaital glacier and the afternoons were spent hiking up the many trails into the mountains, running around the alpine meadow, walking into the little village of Neustif or just enjoying the wonderful hotel where we were staying. Typically my tours take me through major cities, so when I am able to venture outside major cities, it is sweet music to my heart.

This trip also marked the end of my travel for the season. Originally, I was scheduled for several more tours but came down with pneumonia once again. It was bittersweet in that I wasn't ready for this to be my last tour for the season yet at the same, I was grateful to not be crossing an ocean again for awhile. Often I am asked when speaking of my job, “ do you ever get tired of it”? If you ask me this after I’ve come off a 13+ hour flight, several airports, crossing time zones, my body aching and 30 hours of no sleep.. then yes, I do get tired- of traveling. {To the left: London's Heathrow Airport Terminal 5} Ask me when I’m sitting at dinner surrounded by several precious students sharing with me about their lives, laughing while eating in Rome.. then, no- I never tire of it! This past trip had a mix of those moments- those things which I’m happy to never have to do again- 13+ hour flights and London’s Heathrow airport at 5am to tender moments while a student open their heart to me, and in turn I’m able to love them in that place, I pray that God speaks through me and that I don’t just leave them with empty words.

Over the years, working with students, I’ve grown more and more perceptive to what resonates within them verse where I see the eyes rolls and a shutting down of their hearts. I see that more than ever their biggest struggle is trying to figure out who the heck they are let alone what a relationship with God looks like. You speak to their hearts by loving them where they are at, allowing them to just be and love them in that place.. not focusing on who they can be in the future but seeing them as they are, just as God sees us. He doesn’t look at us and say ‘I see potential in you kid’ but He loves us exactly as we are: fallen, broken, stubborn, prideful, confused.. I can go on as the list is endless! Rather He looks at us with compassion. He pleads for our hearts and He will go after them! So when I spend time with these precious students.. My desire is for them to not feel like they aren’t good kids, or the ‘beware of walking this path’ talk rather by sharing my heart, my struggles, being authentic with them- and that my life is walking in grace.. seeing the gifts God has given me to serve others, not to look to just serve myself. You invite them into this walk. It's a special moment to share in. This is why i do what I do. Not to just travel, see amazing places, etc.. but to be a part of sharing in this incredible life God has given us, to walk in grace and love with compassion.



A wonderful ministry that does this well- loving students exactly where they are and breathing life into them- Daystar Ministries in Nashville TN. I'm beyond grateful for how they loved me all those years in which I was a part of a girls group that met once a week. For the first time, I felt not only accepted but embraced in my brokenness. They loved me for me. And they were a safe place to share in this. I can't tell you how that kind of love changed me. Of course my parents did this as well- but as a pre-teen/teenage girl, the last thing you want is advice from your parents. ;) So it is for them that my heart beats for these students.. because I was so loved, I hope that God directs me in bringing encouragement and comfort. This scripture is a reminder to me: "Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God." 2 Corinthians 1:3-4.

Easter in Greece & Turkey

Athens. Monastiriki District with a view of the Acropolis

Island of Mykonos outside an orthodox church on Good Friday.

Once again I was blessed to spend Easter in Greece. It happened to be the weekend I was with a group leading a tour throughout Greece. The focus of the trip being on the early Church and the Apostle Paul. Part of the tour is spent on a cruise visiting Mykonos, Rhodes, Patmos and Ephesus Turkey.

And so on Easter morning, we were up before the sun for the early morning shore excursion to Patmos. Half willingly at 6am, we disembarked by little boats. As we boarded, the sun was beginning to rise. Sitting there on the boat, watching the distance between our ship and the little boat where we found ourselves rendered speechless grew as the sun made itself known it all it’s glory. Easter morning. Those of us on the boat sat in revered silence drinking in this moment.



We spend the early hours of the morning on the island of Patmos where the John the Baptist is said to have had the vision to write Revelations. Later in the day, our ship took us to Turkey where we toured ancient Ephesus and watched flying carpet demonstrations while drinking apple tea. Turkey is a country that sits on the edge of familiarity and uncomfortably. Now I’ve only visited a tiny piece of this massive country, which is said to be close to 71 million people- making it larger than any European country. It’s considered Asia Minor. It’s not quite Europe. It’s not quite the Middle East nor is it Asia. Ok so let’s say Eurasia ;) I’d love to see more of this country, especially Istanbul, Ankara, Izmir and to go south along the coast.



This ended my last tour in Greece for the season. If you ever have the opportunity to visit Greece- not just the islands, but the mainland- it's beyond worth it. This country is something to experience! Athens, as you can read in my previous posts from last year, is beyond a paint job yet because it's not what you expect, it leaves the door wide open for a great adventure!

The Lake District, Wordsworth and Daffodils

"Daffodils" (1804)
I wander'd lonely as a cloud
That floats on high o'er vales and hills,
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host, of golden daffodils;
Beside the lake, beneath the trees,
Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.
Continuous as the stars that shine
And twinkle on the Milky Way,
They stretch'd in never-ending line
Along the margin of a bay:
Ten thousand saw I at a glance,
Tossing their heads in sprightly dance.
The waves beside them danced; but they
Out-did the sparkling waves in glee:
A poet could not but be gay,
In such a jocund company:
I gazed -- and gazed -- but little thought
What wealth the show to me had brought:
For oft, when on my couch I lie
In vacant or in pensive mood,
They flash upon that inward eye
Which is the bliss of solitude;
And then my heart with pleasure fills,
And dances with the daffodils.
By William Wordsworth (1770-1850).

The art of ignoring and the gift in loving

It was written somewhere once that there are two things that pierce the human heart: beauty and affliction. In one your heart swells and the other you feel it break.. The other night as I sat on the number 2 Uptown Express train waiting for it to take me back to 42nd Street, I experienced both such feelings in a colliding moment. When I stepped on the train, it was the intense smell that I first noticed coming from a corner. There sat a woman all but crumpled against the wall and seat. She seemed a mass of brown clothing, her face was covered and wearing mis-matched shoes, she struggled to stand up. The majority of those on the train sat to the other end of the car aware but pretending to not notice her. Because this is not an uncommon site, no one stared or made exaggerated hand movements, no comments were made or none that I could hear from where I sat. Yet the silence and choice of seat said enough. In the moment my eyes befell her, I felt my heart break for her.. with her covered face as if her shame kept her from showing herself. Only a moment later did I allow my eyes to leave her and looked ahead out the train window. Across the platform stood two lovers in a public yet very intimate embrace, gaze and then long kiss. My heart swelled at this site and seconds later the train was traveling north to Herald Square. There was something deep in me that moved with a longing for the same experience. Yet it was here that the woman shifted her way out the train doors. Her movements reminded me of a wounded animal, when realizing they have but a moment to escape- for just that moment, they have energy. As the train continued on, I watched this woman whose face was hardly visible make her slow uneven way to her next corner of this city. What she left behind was not just a overwhelming smell, not just the crumbs and dirt that reveal how long she had been there… but a broken heart in my chest. A reminder that she is a human being with a heart and soul just like me.. not a term or a condition.. not a statistic or a lost case. But a woman who could be loved and is loved. But who stops to know her name.. her story? Give her hope and an hand?

There are those who believe that those without a home choose this life for themselves and prefer this. Who really chooses to be without a home.. without someone to love them and to love in return.. to not feel a part of this life? Living such independent lives apart from our Creator wasn’t what God created us for. When you begin to be see how much we were created for community and relationships.. These people may not have had a choice but to give up their home, have no one to turn to who will love them where they are at and extend help. Maybe they did get some help. Maybe they choose to give up. Those of us who’ve been privileged to be provided for or who know that someone has our back should never take this for granted. Life is not fair. It does not consider the individual nor does it show grace, show mercy and love unconditionally. And those who chose to just give up.. all I can say is someone must have given up on them. And they lost hope.

How is it that we can support humanitarian efforts across the globe in Darfur.. Myanmar.. Israel.. Mumbai.. yet disregard those before our very eyes? I'm not saying that there is anything wrong with supporting the causes that reach these places as it is incredibly needed! Yet, the real crisis is within us when we stop and only seek to help ourselves.. it ends there. We’ve been creating to be life giving.. not life-consuming. In scripture it says ‘what is it to gain the whole world but lose our souls in the process..?’ I’m the first one to be honest in that it’s easier to just help from afar.. we keep ourselves comfortable never touching the reality of the lives we see so broken, just being grateful that is not us. To keep a safe distance from what makes me risk myself, really give of myself and trust in God. It has been a process of understand of what it looks like to step outside of what I'm comfortable with and only willing to do if it fits into a certain idea or moral code based off of.. what? You need to have discernment which is incredibly important just as it is to wrestle with, question and seek to understand what any of this means and what it looks like to live in this place vs just living in the idea of it. Hence we justify ourselves because we've thoughts about something or are going to do something about this or that yet we've never taken any real action.

A New York photographer Lorenzo Dominguez, recently created a series of photos called: The Art of Ignoring (http://www.flickr.com/photos/lorenzodom/sets/72157601182601638/) I know I’ve been guilty of trying to perfect the art of ignoring. But I can’t. I’m not sure what it looks like to not ignore or pretend.. or just to walk by. Rather what it looks like to reach out.. not being conditional in how I give, how I love. God is not conditional with us. He doesn’t bless us according to what we deserve or not rather takes joy in giving. And who is to say that what one chooses to do or spend is better or worse? We are called into loving others. So many people say that this life is about Love.. but what is your idea of love? What does it look like to love others and to be loved in return? Do you know the greatest love of all? It’s humbling.. to know there is nothing more or less we can do that God won’t love us more or less. Again.. to live in that place where you love.. give.. show grace and mercy regardless or who is or isn’t deserving.. because you’ve been so loved, lavished up with grace and mercy and knowing that each day is a gift.

I pray for God to break my heart for what breaks His. When you start to pray this.. He will. You are given a glimpse into how far east of Eden we really are.. so far from where we are intended to be. At the same time, you will experience such joy, such gratitude that your heart is swollen and overflowing. You cannot help but to share this with others not wanting to keep it for yourself. You begin to feel deeply in a way never felt before and all over a sudden, you seen through new eyes. I dare you to pray this because when you do.. you will feel you heart break.. but also swell in the same moment.

Below are a few websites regarding homelessness and those who provide refuge and help:

Coalition for the Homeless: http://www.coalitionforthehomeless.org/index.html
The Bowery Mission: http://www.bowery.org
EDAR http://www.edar.org/index.html
Sacramento Loaves and Fishes: http://www.sacloaves.org/
http://www.takepart.com/blog/tag/homeless-families/

Photos from my last Europe tours

Twice now I've been incredibly blessed to witness this gorgeous sunset over the Bay of Corinth from the modern city of Delphi. This was from the balcony off my hotel room. The apostle Paul once sailed across this bay. It's moments like this I am in such awe that I get to be a part of all this!



The view looking back towards the popular skiing town of Arahova. It is not only popular with people who are skiing on Mt Parnasos but known for it's woven rugs and clothing. Great little village!



Students from Wheaton Academy as we walked through the lower city of ancient Delphi. It was a gorgeous morning watching the sunrise over the Ionian Sea as we made our way up the mountain.



Looking down one of the main roads leading to the Pantheon in Rome. Notice the full moon overhead and one of the best little cafe's to get coffee in the city: Il Caffe Tazza D'oro.



Another incredible group of students, this time from Wheaton Academy. Here are all the girls on their first day in Florence, Italy.



Sitting in a little restaurant just outside the Ancient Agora.. it was an unusually warm day for early Jan. People were out walking around in the markets and in the midst of the seas of people, I heard this strange singing.. almost chanting coming from somewhere. As the sound came closer, I saw that it was a man who pushed a sort of .. musical box.. icon.. in a moment he looked at me as I photographed him. Part of me wished I had understood what he was singing and what his cart represented.. yet i'm glad its left to my always wondering..



A few of the students from Houston Christian School which took us from Rome Italy across the Adriatic Sea to Athens Greece. Here they are at top the Acropolis in Athens.



The view looking down on Ancient Delphi. This is an incredible site to visit with an even more fascinating history. Understanding what the ancient Greeks believed really helps to better understand the language used in scripture when speaking to the Greeks. So incredibly interesting and what a breath-taking place!